Horrid Henry and the Soccer Fiend Read online

  HORRID HENRY

  AND THE

  SOCCER FIEND

  Meet HORRID HENRY the laugh-out-loud worldwide sensation!

  Over 15 million copies sold in 27 countries and counting

  # 1 chapter book series in the UK

  Francesca Simon is the only American author to ever win the Galaxy British Book Awards Children’s Book of the Year (past winners include J.K. Rowling, Philip Pullman, and Eoin Colfer).

  “Horrid Henry is a fabulous antihero…a modern comic classic.” —Guardian

  “Wonderfully appealing to girls and boys alike, a precious rarity at this age.” —Judith Woods, Times

  * * *

  “The best children’s comic writer.”

  —Amanda Craig, Times

  * * *

  “I love the Horrid Henry books by Francesca Simon. They have lots of funny bits in. And Henry always gets into trouble!” —Mia, age 6, BBC Learning Is Fun

  “My two boys love this book, and I have actually had tears running down my face and had to stop reading because of laughing so hard.” —T. Franklin, Parent

  “It’s easy to see why Horrid Henry is the bestselling character for five- to eight-year-olds.” —Liverpool Echo

  “Francesca Simon’s truly horrific little boy is a monstrously enjoyable creation. Parents love them because Henry makes their own little darlings seem like angels.” —Guardian Children’s Books Supplement

  “I have tried out the Horrid Henry books with groups of children as a parent, as a babysitter, and as a teacher. Children love to either hear them read aloud or to read them themselves.” —Danielle Hall, Teacher

  “A flicker of recognition must pass through most teachers and parents when they read Horrid Henry. There’s a tiny bit of him in all of us.” —Nancy Astee, Child Education

  “As a teacher…it’s great to get a series of books my class loves. They go mad for Horrid Henry.” —A teacher

  “Henry is a beguiling hero who has entranced millions of reluctant readers.” —Herald

  * * *

  “A absoutely fantastic series and surely a winner with all children. Long live Francesca Simon and her brilliant books More more please!”

  —A parent

  * * *

  “Laugh-out-loud reading for both adults and children alike.” —A parent

  “Horrid Henry certainly lives up to his name, and his antics are everything you hope your own child will avoid—which is precisely why younger children so enjoy these tales.” —Independent on Sunday

  “Henry might be unbelievably naughty, totally wicked, and utterly horrid, but he is frequently credited with converting the most reluctant readers into enthusiastic ones…superb in its simplicity.” —Liverpool Echo

  * * *

  “Will make you laugh out loud.”

  —Sunday Times

  * * *

  “Parents reading them aloud may be consoled to discover that Henry can always be relied upon to behave worse than any of their own offspring.” —Independent

  “What is brilliant about the books is that Henry never does anything that is subversive. She creates an aura of supreme naughtiness (of which children are in awe) but points out that he operates within a safe and secure world…eminently readable books.” —Emily Turner, Angels and Urchins

  * * *

  “Inventive and funny, with appeal for boys and girls alike, and super illustrations by Tony Ross.”

  —Jewish Chronicle

  * * *

  “Accompanied by fantastic black-and-white drawings, the book is a joy to read. Horrid Henry has an irresistible appeal to everyone—child and adult alike! He is the child everyone is familiar with—irritating, annoying, but you still cannot help laughing when he gets into yet another scrape. Not quite a devil in disguise but you cannot help wondering at times! No wonder he is so popular!” —Angela Youngman

  Horrid Henry by Francesca Simon

  Horrid Henry

  Horrid Henry Tricks the Tooth Fairy

  Horrid Henry and the Mega-Mean Time Machine

  Horrid Henry’s Stinkbomb

  Horrid Henry and the Mummy’s Curse

  Horrid Henry and the Soccer Fiend

  Horrid Henry Tricks and Treats

  Horrid Henry’s Christmas

  HORRID HENRY

  AND THE

  SOCCER FIEND

  Francesca Simon

  Illustrated by Tony Ross

  To Elaine and Mark Eisenthal,

  and to Alexander, Josh, and Katherine

  Text © Francesca Simon 2006

  Internal illustrations © Tony Ross 2006

  Cover illustrations © Tony Ross 2008

  Cover and internal design © 2009 by Sourcebooks, Inc.

  Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks, Inc.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems—except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks, Inc.

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Published by Sourcebooks Jabberwocky, an imprint of Sourcebooks, Inc.

  P.O. Box 4410, Naperville, Illinois 60567–4410

  (630) 961–3900

  Fax: (630) 961–2168

  www.jabberwockykids.com

  Originally published in Great Britain in 2006 by Orion Children’s Books.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Simon, Francesca.

  [Horrid Henry and the football fiend]

  Horrid Henry and the soccer fiend / Francesca Simon ; illustrated by Tony Ross.

  p. cm.

  Originally published: Great Britain : Orion Children’s Books, 2006, under the title Horrid Henry and the football fiend.

  [1. Behavior—Fiction.] I. Ross, Tony, ill. II. Title.

  PZ7.S604Hoaw 2009

  [Fic]—dc22

  2008039689

  Printed and bound in the United States of America.

  VP 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  CONTENTS

  1 Horrid Henry Peeks at Peter’s Diary

  2 Horrid Henry and the Soccer Fiend

  3 Horrid Henry Goes Shopping

  4 Horrid Henry’s Arch Enemy

  1

  HORRID HENRY PEEKS AT PETER’S DIARY

  “What are you doing?” demanded Horrid Henry, bursting into Peter’s bedroom.

  “Nothing,” said Perfect Peter quickly, slamming his notebook shut.

  “Yes you are,” said Henry.

  “Get out of my room,” said Peter. “You’re not allowed to come in unless I say so.”

  Horrid Henry leaned over Peter’s shoulder.

  “What are you writing?”

  “None of your business,” said Peter. He covered the closed notebook tightly with his arm.

  “It is too my business if you’re writing about me.”

  “It’s my diary. I can write what I want to,” said Peter. “Miss Lovely said we should keep a diary for a week and write in it every day.”

  “Bo-ring,” said Henry, yawning.

  “No it isn’t,” said Peter. “Anyway, you’ll find out next week what I’m writing: I’ve been chosen to read my diary out loud for our class assembly.”

  Horrid Henry’s heart turned to ice.

  Peter read his diary out loud? So the whole school could hear Peter’s lies about him? No way!

  “Gimme that!” sc
reamed Horrid Henry, lunging for the diary.

  “No!” screamed Peter, holding on tight. “MOOOM! Help! Henry’s in my room! And he didn’t knock! And he won’t leave!”

  “Shut up, tattletale,” hissed Henry, forcing Peter’s fingers off the diary.

  “MOOOOMMMMMM!” shrieked Peter.

  Mom stomped up the stairs.

  Henry opened the diary. But before he could read a single word Mom burst in.

  “He snatched my diary! And he told me to shut up!” wailed Peter.

  “Henry! Stop annoying your brother,” said Mom.

  “I wasn’t,” said Henry.

  “Yes he was,” sniveled Peter.

  “And now you’ve made him cry,” said Mom. “Say sorry.”

  “I was just asking about his homework,” protested Henry innocently.

  “He was trying to read my diary,” said Peter.

  “Henry!” said Mom. “Don’t be horrid. A diary is private. Now leave your brother alone.”

  It was so unfair. Why did Mom always believe Peter?

  Humph. Horrid Henry stalked out of Peter’s bedroom. Well, no way was Henry waiting until the class assembly to find out what Peter had written.

  Sneak. Sneak. Sneak.

  Horrid Henry checked to the right.

  Horrid Henry checked to the left. Mom was downstairs working on the computer. Dad was in the garden. Peter was playing at Goody-Goody Gordon’s house.

  At last, the coast was clear. He’d been trying to get ahold of Peter’s diary for days. There was no time to lose.

  Tomorrow was Peter’s class assembly. Would he mention Sunday’s food fight, when Henry had been forced to throw soggy pasta at Peter? Or when Henry had to push Peter off the comfy black chair and pinch him? Or yesterday when Henry banished him from the

  Purple Hand Club and Peter had run screaming to Mom? A lying, slimy worm like Peter would be sure to make it look like Henry was the villain when in fact Peter was always to blame.

  Even worse, what horrid lies had Peter been making up about him? People would read Peter’s ravings and think they were true. When Henry was famous, books would be written about him, and someone would find Peter’s diary and believe it! When things were written down they had a horrible way of seeming to be true even when they were big fat lies.

  Henry sneaked into Peter’s bedroom and shut the door. Now, where was that diary? Henry glanced at Peter’s tidy desk. Peter kept it on the second shelf, next to his crayons and trophies.

  The diary was gone.

  Rats. Peter must have hidden it.

  That little worm, thought Horrid Henry. Why on earth would he hide his diary? And where on earth would that smelly toad hide it? Behind his “Good as Gold” certificates? In the laundry basket? Underneath his stamp collection?

  He checked Peter’s sock drawer. No diary.

  He checked Peter’s underwear drawer.

  No diary.

  He peeked under Peter’s pillow, and under Peter’s bed.

  Still no diary.

  OK, where would I hide a diary, thought Horrid Henry desperately. Easy. I’d put it in a chest and bury it in the garden, with a pirate curse on it.

  Somehow he doubted Perfect Peter would be so clever.

  OK, thought Henry, if I were an ugly toad like him, where would I hide it?

  The bookcase. Of course. What better place to hide a book?

  Henry strolled over to Peter’s bookcase, with all the books arranged neatly in alphabetical order. Aha! What was

  that sticking out between The Happy Nappy and The Hoppy Hippo?

  Gotcha, thought Horrid Henry, yanking the diary off the shelf. At last he would know Peter’s secrets. He’d make him cross out all his lies if it was the last thing he did.

  Horrid Henry sat down and began to read:

  Slowly Horrid Henry closed Peter’s diary. He knew Peter’s diary would be bad. But never in his worst nightmares had he imagined anything this bad.

  Perfect Peter hadn’t mentioned him once. Not once.

  You’d think I didn’t even live in this house, thought Henry. He was outraged. How dare Peter not write about him? And then all the stupid things Peter had written.

  Henry’s name would be mud when people heard Peter’s diary in the assembly and found out what a sad brother he had. Everyone would tease him. Horrid Henry would never live down the shame.

  Peter needed Henry’s help, and he needed it fast. Horrid Henry grabbed a pencil and got to work.

  That’s more like it, thought Horrid Henry.

  Much better, thought Horrid Henry. Now that’s what I call a diary. Everyone would have died of boredom otherwise.

  Henry carefully replaced Peter’s diary in the bookcase. I hope Peter appreciates what I’ve done for him, thought Horrid Henry.

  The entire school gathered in the hall for the assembly. Peter’s class sat proudly on benches at the front. Henry’s class sat cross-legged on the floor. The parents sat on chairs down both sides.

  Mom and Dad waved at Peter. He waved shyly back.

  Miss Lovely stood up.

  “Hello moms and dads, boys and girls, welcome to our class assembly. This quarter our class has been keeping diaries. We’re going to read some of them to you now. First to read will be Peter. Everyone pay attention, and see if you too can be as good as I know Peter has been. I’d like everyone here to copy one of Peter’s good deeds. I know I can’t wait to hear how he has spent this last week.”

  Peter stood up, and opened his diary. In a big loud voice, he read:

  “MONDAY:

  “Today I drew a picture of my teacher, Miss Lovely.”

  Peter glanced up at Miss Lovely. She beamed at him.

  “I drew her with piggy ears and a great big giant belly. Then I turned it into a dartboard ”

  What??! It was always difficult to read out loud and understand what he had read, but something didn’t sound right. He didn’t remember writing about a pig with a big belly. Nervously Peter looked up at Mom and Dad. Was he imagining it, or did their smiles seem more like frowns? Peter shook his head, and carried on.

  “Miss Lovely gave me a gold star for reading.”

  Phew, that was better! He must have misheard himself before.

  “Miss Lovely is my worst teacher ever. She should really be called Miss Lumpy. Miss Dumpy Lumpy—”

  “Thank you, that’s quite enough,” interrupted Miss Lovely sternly, as the school erupted in shrieks of laughter. Her face was pink. “Peter, see me after the assembly. Ted will now tell us all about skeletons.”

  “But—but—” gasped Perfect Peter. “I—I didn’t, I never—”

  “Sit down and be quiet,” said the principal, Mrs. Oddbod. “I’ll see you and your parents later.”

  “WAAAAAAAAAA!” wailed Peter.

  Mom and Dad stared at their feet. Why had they ever had children? Where was a trap door when you needed one?

  “Waaaaaaaa,” whimpered Mom and Dad.

  Naturally, Henry got into trouble. Big, big trouble. It was so unfair. Why didn’t anyone believe him when he said he’d improved Peter’s diary for his own good? Honestly, he would never ever do Peter a favor again.

  2

  HORRID HENRY AND THE SOCCER FIEND

  “… AND with 15 seconds to go it’s Hot-Foot Henry racing across the field! Beckham tries a slide tackle but Henry’s too quick! Just look at that step-over! Oh no, he can’t score from that distance, it’s crazy, it’s impossible, oh my goodness, he cornered the ball, it’s IN!!!! It’s IN! Another spectacular goal! Another spectacular win! And it’s all thanks to Hot-Foot Henry, the greatest soccer star who’s ever lived!”

  “Goal! Goal! Goal!” roared the crowd.

  Hot-Foot Henry won the match! His teammates carried him through the fans, cheering and chanting, “Hen-ry! Hen-ry! Hen-ry!”

  “HENRY!”

  Horrid Henry looked up to see Miss Battle-Axe leaning over his table and glaring at him with her red eyes.

  “W
hat did I just say?”

  “Henry,” said Horrid Henry.

  Miss Battle-Axe scowled.

  “I’m watching you, Henry,” she snapped. “Now class, please pay attention, we need to discuss—”

  “Waaaaa!” wailed Weepy William.

  “Susan, stop pulling my hair!” squealed Vain Violet.

  “Miss!” shouted Inky Ian, “Ralph snatched my pen!”

  “Did not!” shouted Rude Ralph.

  “Did too!” shouted Inky Ian.

  “Class! Be quiet!” bellowed Miss Battle-Axe.

  “Waaaaa!” wailed Weepy William.

  “Owwww!” squealed Vain Violet.

  “Give it back!” shouted Inky Ian.

  “Fine,” said Miss Battle-Axe, “we won’t talk about soccer.”

  William stopped wailing.

  Violet stopped squealing.

  Ian stopped shouting.

  Henry stopped daydreaming.

  Everyone in the class stared at Miss Battle-Axe. Miss Battle-Axe wanted to talk about…soccer? Was this an alien Miss Battle-Axe?

  “As you all know, our local team, Ashton Athletic, has reached the sixth round of the National Soccer Cup,” said Miss Battle-Axe.

  “YAY!” shrieked the class.

  “And I’m sure you all know what happened last night…”

  Last night! Henry could still hear the announcer’s glorious words as he and Peter had gathered around the radio as the draw for round six was announced.