Horrid Henry's Stinkbomb Read online

  HORRID HENRY’S

  STINKBOMB

  Meet HORRID HENRY the laugh-out-loud worldwide sensation!

  * Over 15 million copies sold in 27 countries and counting

  * # 1 chapter book series in the UK

  * Francesca Simon is the only American author to ever win the Galaxy British Book Awards Children’s Book of the Year (past winners include J.K. Rowling, Philip Pullman, and Eoin Colfer).

  “Horrid Henry is a fabulous antihero…a modern comic classic.” —Guardian

  “Wonderfully appealing to girls and boys alike, a precious rarity at this age.” —Judith Woods, Times

  “The best children’s comic writer.”

  —Amanda Craig, The Times

  “ I love the Horrid Henry books by Francesca Simon. They have lots of funny bits in. And Henry always gets into trouble!” —Mia, age 6, BBC Learning Is Fun

  “My two boys love this book, and I have actually had tears running down my face and had to stop reading because of laughing so hard.” —T. Franklin, Parent

  “It’s easy to see why Horrid Henry is the bestselling character for five- to eight-year-olds.” —Liverpool Echo

  “Francesca Simon’s truly horrific little boy is a monstrously enjoyable creation. Parents love them because Henry makes their own little darlings seem like angels.” —Guardian Children’s Books Supplement

  “I have tried out the Horrid Henry books with groups of children as a parent, as a babysitter, and as a teacher. Children love to either hear them read aloud or to read them themselves.” —Danielle Hall, Teacher

  “ A flicker of recognition must pass through most teachers and parents when they read Horrid Henry. There’s a tiny bit of him in all of us.” —Nancy Astee, Child Education

  “As a teacher…it’s great to get a series of books my class loves. They go mad for Horrid Henry.” —A teacher

  “Henry is a beguiling hero who has entranced millions of reluctant readers.” —Herald

  “An absolutely fantastic series a d surely a winner with all children. Long live Francesca Simo and her brilliant books! More, more please!”

  —A parent

  “Laugh-out-loud reading for both adults and children alike.” —A parent

  “ Horrid Henry certainly lives up to his name, and his antics are everything you hope your own child will avoid—which is precisely why younger children so enjoy these tales.”

  —Independent on Sunday

  “Henry might be unbelievably naughty, totally wicked, and utterly horrid, but he is frequently credited with converting the most reluctant readers into enthusiastic ones…superb in its simplicity.” —Liverpool Echo

  “Will make you laugh out loud.”

  —Sunday Times

  “Parents reading them aloud may be consoled to discover that Henry can always be relied upon to behave worse than any of their own offspring.” —Independent

  “ What is brilliant about the books is that Henry never does anything that is subversive. She creates an aura of supreme naughtiness (of which children are in awe) but points out that he operates within a safe and secure world… eminently readable books.” —Emily Turner, Angels and Urchins

  “Inventive and funny, with appeal for boys and girls alike, and super illustrations by Tony Ross.”

  —Jewish Chronicle

  “Accompanied by fantastic black-and-white drawings, the book is a joy to read. Horrid Henry has an irresistible appeal to everyone—child and adult alike! He is the child everyone is familiar with—irritating, annoying, but you still cannot help laughing when he gets into yet another scrape. Not quite a devil in disguise but you cannot help wondering at times! No wonder he is so popular!”

  —Angela Youngman

  Horrid Henry by Francesca Simon

  Horrid Henry

  Horrid Henry Tricks the Tooth Fairy

  Horrid Henry and the Mega-Mean Time Machine

  Horrid Henry’s Stinkbomb

  Horrid Henry and the Mummy’s Curse

  Horrid Henry and the Soccer Fiend

  HORRID HENRY'S

  STINKBOMB

  Francesca Simon

  Illustrated by Tony Ross

  Copyright © 2009 by Francesca Simon

  Cover and internal design © 2009 by Sourcebooks, Inc.

  Cover and internal illustrations © Tony Ross

  Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks, Inc.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems—except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks, Inc.

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Published by Sourcebooks Jabberwocky, an imprint of Sourcebooks, Inc.

  P.O. Box 4410, Naperville, Illinois 60567-4410

  (630) 961-3900

  Fax: (630) 961-2168

  www.jabberwockykids.com

  Originally published in Great Britain in 2002 by Orion Children’s Books.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Simon, Francesca.

  Horrid Henry’s stinkbomb / Francesca Simon ; illustrated by Tony Ross.

  p. cm.

  Originally published: Great Britain : Orion Children’s Books, 2002.

  [1. Behavior—Fiction.] I. Ross, Tony, ill. II. Title.

  PZ7.S604Hss 2009

  [Fic]—dc22

  2008039690

  Printed and bound in the United States of America.

  VP 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  For Joshua

  CONTENTS

  1 Horrid Henry Reads a Book

  2 Horrid Henry’s Stinkbomb

  3 Horrid Henry’s School Project

  4 Horrid Henry’s Sleepover

  1

  HORRID HENRY READS A BOOK

  Blah blah blah blah blah.

  Miss Battle-Axe droned on and on and on. Horrid Henry drew pictures of crocodiles munching on a juicy Battle-Axe snack in his math book.

  Snap! Off went her head.

  Yank! Bye-bye leg.

  Crunch! Ta-ta teeth.

  Yum yum. Henry’s crocodile had a big fat smile on its face.

  Blah blah blah books blah blah blah read blah blah blah prize blah blah

  …PRIZE?

  Horrid Henry stopped doodling.

  “What prize?” he shrieked.

  “Don’t shout out, Henry,” said Miss Battle-Axe.

  Horrid Henry waved his hand and shouted:

  “What prize?”

  “Well, Henry, if you’d been paying attention instead of scribbling, you’d know, wouldn’t you?” said Miss Battle-Axe.

  Horrid Henry scowled. Typical teacher. You’re interested enough in what they’re saying to ask a question, and suddenly they don’t want to answer.

  “So, class, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted—” she glared at Horrid Henry— “you’ll have two weeks to read as many books as you can for our school reading competition. Whoever reads the most books will win an exciting prize. A very exciting prize. But remember, a book report on every book on your list, please.”

  Oh. A reading competition. Horrid Henry slumped in his chair. Phooey. Reading was hard, heavy work. Just turning the pages made Henry feel exhausted. Why couldn’t they ever do fun competitions, like whose tummy could rumble the loudest, or who shouted out the most in class, or who knew the rudest words? Horrid Henry would win those competitions every time.

 
But no. Miss Battle-Axe would never have a fun competition. Well, no way was he taking part in a reading contest. Henry would just have to watch someone undeserving like Clever Clare or Brainy Brian swagger off with the prize while he sat prize-less at the back. It was so unfair!

  “What’s the prize?” shouted Moody Margaret.

  Probably something awful like a pencil case, thought Horrid Henry. Or a bumper pack of school dish rags. “Candy!” shouted Greedy Graham. “A million bucks!” shouted Rude Ralph.

  “Clothes!” shouted Gorgeous Gurinder.

  “A skateboard!” shouted Aerobic Al.

  “A hamster!” said Anxious Andrew.

  “Silence!” bellowed Miss Battle-Axe. “The prize is a family ticket to a brand new theme park.”

  Horrid Henry sat up. A theme park! Oh wow! He loved theme parks! Roller coasters! Water rides! Cotton candy! His mean, horrible parents never took him to theme parks. They dragged him to museums. They hauled him on hikes. But if he won the competition, they’d have to take him. He had to win that prize. He had to. But how could he win a reading competition without reading any books?

  “Do comics count?” shouted Rude Ralph.

  Horrid Henry’s heart leapt. He was king of the comic book readers. He’d easily win a comic book competition.

  Miss Battle-Axe glared at Ralph with her beady eyes.

  “Of course not!” she said. “Clare! How many books do you think you can read?”

  “Fifteen,” said Clever Clare.

  “Brian?”

  “Eighteen,” said Brainy Brian.

  “Nineteen,” said Clare.

  “Twenty,” said Brian.

  Horrid Henry smiled. Wouldn’t they get a shock when he won the prize? He’d start reading the second he got home.

  Horrid Henry stretched out in the comfy black chair and switched on the TV. He had plenty of time to read. He’d start tomorrow.

  Tuesday. Oh boy! Five new comics!

  He’d read them first and start on all those books later.

  Wednesday. Whoopee! A Mutant Max TV special! He’d definitely get reading afterward.

  Thursday. Rude Ralph brought over his great new computer game, “Mash ’em! Smash ’em!” Henry mashed and smashed and mashed and smashed…

  Friday. Yawn. Horrid Henry was exhausted after his long, hard week. I’ll read tons of books tomorrow, thought Henry. After all, there was tons of time till the competition ended.

  “How many books have you read, Henry?” asked Perfect Peter, looking up from the sofa.

  “Tons,” lied Henry.

  “I’ve read five,” said Perfect Peter proudly. “More than anyone in my class.”

  “Goody for you,” said Henry.

  “You’re just jealous,” said Peter.

  “As if I’d ever be jealous of you, worm,” sneered Henry. He wandered over to the sofa. “So what are you reading?”

  “The Happy Nappy,” said Peter.

  The Happy Nappy! Trust Peter to read a stupid book like that.

  “What’s it about?” asked Henry, snorting.

  “It’s great,” said Peter. “It’s all about this diaper—” Then he stopped. “Wait, I’m not telling you. You just want to find out so you can use it in the competition. Well, you’re too late. Tomorrow is the last day.”

  Horrid Henry felt as if a dagger had been plunged into his heart. This couldn’t be. Tomorrow! How had tomorrow sneaked up so fast?

  “What!” shrieked Henry. “The competition ends—tomorrow?”

  “Yes,” said Peter. “You should have started reading sooner. After all, why put off till tomorrow what you can do today?”

  “Shut up!” said Horrid Henry. He looked around wildly. What to do, what to do. He had to read something, anything—fast.

  “Gimme that!” snarled Henry, snatching Peter’s book. Frantically, he started to read:

  “I’m unhappy, pappy,” said the snappy nappy. “A happy nappy is a clappy—”

  Perfect Peter snatched back his book.

  “No!” screamed Peter, holding on tightly. “It’s mine.”

  Henry lunged.

  “Mine!”

  “Mine!”

  Riii—iippp.

  “MOOOOMMMM!” screamed Peter. “Henry tore my book!”

  Mom and Dad ran into the room.

  “You’re fighting—over a book?” said Mom. She sat down in a chair.

  “I’m speechless,” said Mom.

  “Well, I’m not,” said Dad. “Henry! Go to your room!”

  “Fine!” screamed Horrid Henry.

  Horrid Henry prowled up and down his bedroom. He had to think of something. Fast.

  Aha! The room was full of books. He’d just copy down lots of titles. Phew. Easy-peasy.

  And then suddenly Horrid Henry remembered. He had to write a book report for every book he read. Rats. Miss Battle-Axe knew tons and tons of books. She was sure to know the plot of Jack the Kangaroo or The Adventures of Terry the Towel.

  Well, he’d just have to borrow Peter’s list.

  Horrid Henry sneaked into Peter’s bedroom. There was Peter’s competition entry, in the center of Peter’s immaculate desk. Henry read it.

  Of course Peter would have the boring and horrible Mouse Goes to Town. Could he live with the shame of having baby books like The Happy Nappy and Mouse Goes to Town on his competition entry?

  For a day at a theme park, anything.

  Quickly, Henry copied Peter’s list and book reports. Whoopee! Now he had five books. Wheel of Death here I come, thought Horrid Henry.

  Then Henry had to face the terrible truth. Peter’s books wouldn’t be enough to win. He’d heard Clever Clare had seventeen. If only he didn’t have to write those book reports. Why, oh why, did Miss Battle-Axe have to know every book ever written?

  And then suddenly Henry had a brilliant, spectacular idea. It was so brilliant, and so simple, that Horrid Henry was amazed. Of course there were books that Miss Battle-Axe didn’t know. Books that hadn’t been written—yet.

  Horrid Henry grabbed his list.

  “Mouse Goes to Town. The thrilling adventures of a mouse in town. He meets a dog, a cat, and a duck.”

  Why should that poor mouse just go to town? Quickly Henry began to scribble.

  “Mouse Goes to the Country. The thrilling adventures of a mouse in the country. He meets—”

  Henry paused. What sort of things did you meet in the country? Henry had no idea.

  Aha. Henry wrote quickly. “He meets a sheep and a werewolf.”

  “Mouse Goes Around the World. Mouse discovers that the world is round.”

  “ Mouse Goes to the Bathroom. The thrilling adventures of one mouse and his potty.”

  Now, perhaps, something a little different. How about A Boy and his Pig. What could that book be about? thought Henry.

  “Once upon a time there was a boy and his pig. They played together every day. The pig went oink.”

  Sounds good to me, thought Henry.

  Then there was A Pig and his Boy. And, of course, A Boyish Pig. A Piggish Boy. Two Pigs and a Boy. Two Boys and a Pig.

  Horrid Henry wrote and wrote and wrote. When he had filled up four pages with books and reports, and his hand ached from writing, he stopped and counted.

  Twenty-seven books! Surely that was more than enough!

  Miss Battle-Axe rose from her seat and walked to the podium in the school hall. Horrid Henry was so excited he could scarcely breathe. He had to win. He was sure to win.

  “Well done, everyone,” said Miss Battle-Axe. “So many wonderful books read. But sadly, there can be only one winner.”

  Me! thought Horrid Henry.

  “The winner of the school reading competition, the winner who will be receiving a fabulous prize, is—” Horrid Henry got ready to leap up— “Clare, with twenty-eight books!”

  Horrid Henry sank back down in his seat as Clever Clare swaggered up to the podium. If only he’d added Three Boys, Two Pigs, and a Rhinoceros to
his list, he’d have tied for first. It was so unfair. All his hard work for nothing.

  “Well done, Clare!” beamed Miss Battle-Axe. She waved Clare’s list. “I see you’ve read one of my very favorites, Boudicca’s Big Battle.”

  She stopped. “Oh dear. Clare, you’ve put down Boudicca’s Big Battle twice by mistake. But never mind. I’m sure no one else has read twenty-seven books—”

  “I have!” screamed Horrid Henry. Leaping and shouting, punching the air with his fist, Horrid Henry ran up onto the stage, chanting: “Theme park! Theme park! Theme park!”

  “Gimme my prize!” he screeched, snatching the tickets out of Clare’s hand.

  “Mine!” screamed Clare, snatching them back.

  Miss Battle-Axe looked grim. She scanned Henry’s list.

  “I am not familiar with the Boy and Pig series,” she said.

  “That’s ’cause it’s Australian,” said Horrid Henry.

  Miss Battle-Axe glared at him. Then she tried to twist her face into a smile.

  “It appears we have a tie,” she said. “Therefore, you will each receive a family pass to the new theme park, Book World. Congratulations.”

  Horrid Henry stopped his victory dance. Book World? Book World? Surely he’d heard wrong?