Horrid Henry's Underpants Read online

  Then again, all that signing. And writing all those names at the top. And separating the thank you letters from the no thank you ones.

  Maybe there was a better way.

  Horrid Henry sat down at the computer and typed:

  Dear Sir or Madam,

  That should cover everyone, thought Henry, and I won’t have to write anyone’s name.

  Thank you /No thank you/ for the

  a) wonderful

  b) horrible

  c) disgusting

  present. I really loved it/hated it. In fact, it is the best present/worst present/I have ever received. I /played with it/ broke it/ ate it/ spent it/ threw it in the garbage/ right away. Next time just send lots of money.

  Best wishes/ worst wishes/

  Now, how to sign it? Aha, thought Henry.

  Your friend or relative.

  Perfect, thought Horrid Henry. Sir or Madam knows whether they deserve a thank you or a no thank you letter. Let them do some work for a change and tick the correct answers.

  Print.

  Print.

  Print.

  Out spewed seventeen letters. It only took a moment to stuff them in the envelopes. He’d pop the letters in the mailbox on the way to school.

  Had an easier way to become a millionaire ever been invented, thought Horrid Henry, as he turned on the TV?

  Ding dong.

  It was two weeks after Henry set up “Henry’s Thank You Letters.”

  Horrid Henry opened the door.

  A group of Henry’s customers stood there, waving pieces of paper and shouting.

  “My granny sent the letter back and now I can’t watch TV for a week,” wailed Moody Margaret.

  “I’m grounded!” screamed Aerobic Al.

  “I have to go swimming!” screamed Lazy Linda.

  “No candy!” yelped Greedy Graham.

  “No allowance!” screamed Rude Ralph.

  “And it’s all your fault!” they shouted.

  Horrid Henry glared at his angry customers. He was outraged. After all his hard work, this was the thanks he got?

  “Too bad!” said Horrid Henry as he slammed the door. Honestly, there was no pleasing some people.

  “Henry,” said Mom. “I just had the strangest phone call from Aunt Ruby…”

  Horrid Henry’s Family, Friends, and Enemies

  Aerobic Al

  Anxious Andrew

  Aunt Ruby

  Beefy Bert

  Bossy Bill

  Brainy Brian

  Clever Clare

  Dad

  Dizzy Dave

  Fiery Fiona

  Fluffy the cat

  Goody-Goody Gordon

  Gorgeous Gurinder

  Grandpa

  Granny

  Great Aunt Greta

  Greedy Graham

  Inky Ian

  Jazzy Jim

  Jolly Josh

  Jumpy Jeffrey

  Kind Kasim

  Kung-Fu Kate

  Lazy Linda

  Lisping Lilly

  Magic Martha

  Miss Battle-Axe

  Miss Lovely

  Miss Thumper

  Miss Tutu

  Mom

  Moody Margaret

  Mr. Nerdon

  Mrs. Oddbod

  New Nick

  Perfect Peter

  Pimply Paul

  Prissy Polly

  Rabid Rebecca

  Rude Ralph

  Singing Saraya

  Soggy Sid

  Sour Susan

  Stuck-Up Steve

  Tidy Ted

  Tough Toby

  Vain Violet

  Vomitting Vera

  Weepy William

  The HORRID HENRY books by Francesca Simon

  Illustrated by Tony Ross

  Each book contains four stories

  HORRID HENRY

  Henry is dragged to dancing class against his will; vies with Moody Margaret to make the yuckiest Glop; goes camping; and tries to be good like Perfect Peter—but not for long.

  HORRID HENRY

  TRICKS THE TOOTH FAIRY

  Horrid Henry tries to trick the Tooth Fairy into giving him more money; sends Moody Margaret packing; causes his teachers to run screaming from school; and single-handedly wrecks a wedding.

  HORRID HENRY and THE MEGAMEAN TIME MACHINE

  Horrid Henry reluctantly goes for a hike; builds a time machine and convinces Perfect Peter that boys wear dresses in the future; Perfect Peter plays one of the worst tricks ever on his brother; and Henry’s aunt takes the family to a fancy restaurant, so his parents bribe him to behave.

  HORRID HENRY'S STINKBOMB

  Horrid Henry uses a stinkbomb as a toxic weapon in his long-running war with Moody Margaret; uses all his tricks to win the school reading competition; goes for a sleepover and retreats in horror when he finds that other people’s houses aren’t always as nice as his own; and has the joy of seeing Miss Battle-Axe in hot water with the principle when he knows it was all his fault.

  HORRID HENRY AND THE MUMMY'S CURSE

  Horrid Henry indulges his favorite hobby— collecting Gizmos; has a bad time with his spelling homework; starts a rumor that there’s a shark in the pool; and spooks Perfect Peter with the mummy’s curse.

  HORRID HENRY AND THE SOCCER FIEND

  Horrid Henry reads Perfect Peter’s diary and improves it; goes shopping with Mom and tries to make her buy him some really nice new sneakers; is horrified when his old enemy Bossy Bill turns up at school; and tries by any means, to win the class soccer match.

  HORRID HENRY AND THE SCARY SITTER

  Horrid Henry encounters the worst babysitter in the world; traumatizes his parents on a long car trip; is banned from trick-or-treating at Halloween; and emerges victorious from a raid on Moody Margaret’s Secret Club.

  HORRID HENRY'S CHRISTMAS

  Horrid Henry sabotages the Christmas play; tries to do all his Christmas shopping without spending any of his allowance; attempts to ambush Santa Claus (to get more presents of course); and has to endure the worst Christmas dinner ever!

  About the Author

  Photo: Francesco Guidicini

  Francesca Simon spent her childhood on the beach in California and then went to Yale and Oxford Universities to study medieval history and literature. She now lives in London with her family. She has written over fortyfive books and won the Children’s Book of the Year in 2008 at the Galaxy British Book Awards for Horrid Henry and the Abominable Snowman.